​Healing Our Sexuality

Pleasurespot blog - healing sexuality

It is time. Time to bring healing into the confusing, shameful, twisted world of sexuality. How did this beautiful gift of humanity become something that has brought and is still bringing pain to so many?

For the last seven years, I have worked as a conscious sexuality educator and therapist, and the stories that I have heard over these years have opened my eyes to the hard truth what is really happening with our sexuality. And believe me, when I say it is not pretty. Our sexuality is full of pain, suppression, violence, dominance and mostly: ignorance.

We need a revolution here, in every aspect of this topic. We need to start teaching and sharing the truth and most of all, accepting it and losing the shame we have built around it. We are all born as sexual beings. Our bodies ooze sexuality and our lives depend on it in so many different ways.

I have been incredibly lucky to come across this topic very early in my own life. As I found sexuality so fascinating and yet full of so many mysteries, I started to take a more in-depth look at it. I knew that we do not experience even 10% of what is possible.

Sexuality is an essential key to healing

In my search, I started in the tantric scene, and after years of being a part of it, I realized the flaws in these teachings and continued on my own. I kept working with my clients, and at the same time, I kept working on myself and healing my shadow sides, trying to see the truth. Where can I find that place where we come into harmony with one of our deepest urges so that we do not harm others and, most importantly, ourselves. Because the more You harm Yourself, the more You harm people around You. I can happily say that my journey of self-healing lead me to a place of bliss and happiness, allowing me to experience a beautiful relationship with fantastic sex life.

Over the years, I have taught hundreds of sexuality workshops and trained more than 100 therapists and seen the tremendous impact this has on a person’s whole life. I remember every student face when they come to the class on the first day and when they leave after six months. Sometimes I do not believe that these are the same people. Their energy has cleared up, and their faces are full of ease. They have ended relationships that have not been in their best interest and found the right ones. They find new purpose and meaning and often have a proper readjustment in almost every area of their life.

Over the years, I have taught hundreds of sexuality workshops and trained more than 100 therapists and seen the tremendous impact this has on a person’s whole life. I remember every student face when they come to the class on the first day and when they leave after six months. Sometimes I do not believe that these are the same people. Their energy has cleared up, and their faces are full of ease. They have ended relationships that have not been in their best interest and found the right ones. They find new purpose and meaning and often have a proper readjustment in almost every area of their life.

And we are just learning things about sexuality. But that’s the thing and it’s not just sexuality. We start learning and understanding ourselves from the bottom — our childhood, our relationships with our parents, our adult relationships, etc. How our sexuality starts to develop and why it becomes the way it is, is the impact of social conditioning and all the brainwashing that is done daily to men and women.

The hardest stories I hear from my clients are listening to people’s experiences with psychologists, sexologists or gynecologists/men’s doctors when on top of trauma, more trauma is created because the people who sit in these professions are themselves far from truly understanding these topics. They do not really care or have the time to dig deep into the person sitting in front of them and only thing they want is to give them a quick fix.

So I believe a revolution is needed and we have to hurry because there is no more time to procrastinate. As we heal ourselves, we bring better examples to our children and give them a chance for a much better future — a chance to have beautiful relationships and most blissful sex life. And believe me, that is very important.

Happy relationship = good sex life

One of the biggest keys to a happy relationship is good sex life. Please do not buy the stories that tell You that romance and passion will fade away in time and that most important is being good friends with Your partner. As important as those things are, sexuality sets the tone for the whole relationship. It plays a vital role in our own physical and mental health and the connection we have with our partner.

The sexuality that humankind knows today is governed by the energy of lust, which takes us far away from our true sexual potential. To reconnect the purest form of sexuality, we need to connect our passion and our love. But before we can connect to our love, we need to heal the wounds that are keeping us away from it. And that is our deepest wound. We crave love so much, yet most of us have never really known it and even if they encounter it, they have no idea how to accept it.

The key to changing our sexuality is the ability to give and receive love. And that will bring upon a wanted change into the whole world.

As John Lennon sang: “Make Love, not War.

by Jaya

Pleasurespot wouldn't be the same if there wouldn't be our experienced instructor Jaya Shivani. As a conscious sexuality and relationship coach, Jaya has worked with people in many different areas related to their bodies, minds, and emotions. With great experience and with passion for life and sexuality, Jaya shares her knowledge and thoughts about sexuality, relationship, and life itself.